Well i am 6 weeks and 1 day today. I honestly do not feel as though i am pregnant. Yep i was nausous yesterday morning but nothing since. Yep my boobs are slightly tender but only if i touch them or one of the kids elbow me (and wouldnt that hurt regardless? lol) yep im tired all the time. And of course i havent had any bleeding. But other than that, nada!
I'm having a really hard time accepting that there is a baby growing in there. I feel that nothing is wrong with baby, just can't accept that i am pregnant if that makes sense. Which in turn stops me from bonding with him/her.
From the moment i conceived Charlie i knew i was pregnant and i felt it until the moment he was born. I was instantly bonded with him the whole way through. But this time im not and i am scared that i won't bond with this baby like i didn't bond with Lily and i am scared of getting antenantal depression like i did with Lily even though i was not diagnosed with depression until almost 3 years after she was born. I can feel it snowballing already and it's going to end badly with me needing heavy councelling again. I don't want that nor does my family need that. I don't want to see them suffer again.
I wonder if there is any such thing as grief councelling for pregnant women with previous traumatic births and pregnancies?
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