Blerk!

Well i am feeling crappy today. I think morning sickness maybe be creeping in. Not really nausous as such but definatly off food and just have a yucky feeling in my tummy.

I have also suddenly been over come with a fear of the actual birth. I know it is 8 months away but i just keep thinking about how things can go wrong.

Like for example, when i was pg with Charlie i had a low lying placenta and even though it did move up i keep thinking what if that happens again but doesnt move up? I won't get my homebirth or vaginal birth for that matter. I'm scared that something will be wrong with the baby or even that i will die during the birth.

These are all so irrational and i think it is my anxiety coming back. I have been over it for a couple of months now, why would it suddently all come flooding back? I hate it. I hate feeling like this. I want this homebirth SO bad that i keep thinking something will try to stop me from having it...